Confessions of a Depressed Comic

Check out this video below from Kevin Bree. He is a teenager, stand up comic, a writer, and an activist for mental health. In this powerful video he explains the stigma surrounding depression.

 Confessions of a Depressed Comic 

Below are a couple quotes that really resonated with me. 

"Real depression isn't being sad when something in your life goes wrong. Real depression is being sad when everything in your life is going right."

"Depression isn't chicken pox. You don't beat it once and it's gone forever. It's something you live with. It's something you live in."

"We live in a world that if you break your arm everyone runs over to sign your cast, but if you tell people you are depressed everyone runs the other way. That's the stigma."

"As a society we are so accepting of any body part breaking down other than our brains, and that's ignorance."

The MHWTC is hosting Run the Hill on October 27th. We are running to help end the stigma surrounding mental health. Find out more about the race here! Join us as we each try to change a mind about mental health.

CrossFit Solstice Summer Throwdown

On June 22nd CrossFit Solstice hosted the 2013 Summer Solstice Throwdown. This was a fitness competition for members only. These were the first two events for the day:

EVENT #1
Performed with a 12min running clock:

1.A - 2min
1min AMRAP Pull-ups 
1min Rest
AMRAP means as many reps as possible. If you can't do a pull-up there are weighted bands that assist you.

1.B - 3min
400m Sprint
Rest

1.C - 7min
3RM Front Squat
RM means rep maximum, or the most amount of weight you can do. 

EVENT #2
8min AMRAP Ladder

3+3 Clean 135# (men)/95# (women)
5+5 Wall Ball 20# (men)/14# (women)

When I first started CrossFit I used YouTube nonstop. If you do not know what these are-look up a video.

These events were scored, and the top three men and women qualified for Event #3. All six men and women did amazing in the final event, and I was so proud of them. It was crazy to watch these six athletic individuals really struggle through the workout. However, they all stuck with it. My friends Talia and Pat were the winners of the day. 

The winners and top performers are only one small part of CrossFit though. One of the best parts of CrossFit is that even though you may not win, or even come in the top three, you can still leave feeling amazing. Here is how: It is all about setting and reaching INDIVIDUAL goals. I was jumping around just as excited as the first place finisher because I set a back squat personal record and did more pull-ups in a minute than I have ever done. 

A lot of people I talk to are intimated by CrossFit, but you don't have to be if you make it a competition with yourself; and do not waste negative energy making comparisons. For example, I was all smiles after Event #2 because a couple short months ago 95# was my maximum rep for a clean. Which means I could only do one! Five short months ago, I had no clue what a clean was and 95# sounded crazy to me. I could barely clean just the bar (so if you are thinking that-trust me you can do it)! I did not waste time thinking or worrying about my friend Holly who was flying past me. I was proud of her, remember the CrossFit Community! Also, the workouts on this day, just as everyday, were modified if needed so that everyone could complete them. Overall, it was an extremely exciting and motivating day! 

Strong is Beautiful!

 Top 3 Ladies!

Top 3 Men!

CrossFit Solstice Crew

CrosssFit Community

One of my favorite things about CrossFit it is the mini-communitiy that it forms. There is a whole book published about this by Allison Belger, The Power of Community: Crossfit and the force of Human Community. Here is a powerful quote from the book:

“The power of community is about making lives better and helping people achieve their goals."

In the book she describes the importance of group affiliation–of having a network of mutual support and human connection in the midst of our hectic, technology-driven lives. She also describes the mind-body connection and how it can relate to all of us. Through her compelling narratives, each of which intersects with the CrossFit experience, she encourages us to examine our lives and relationships so that we may find meaning in a stressful world–if we are open to the power of community.

I am a big believer in the mind-body connection, and think health is necessary for happiness. Setting and achieving goals is something I have always done. It gives me purpose and a feeling of accomplishment. What CrossFit has changed in my life, is a strong community that supports you along your journey. In return, you get the chance to support others, and to me there is NO better feeling than this. 

Here are a couple of my personal examples that might better explain this. Keep in mind I have only been a member of CrossFit Solstice since January and all the people mentioned below are members. 

• Two of my friends are getting married this month. In the winter one asked us to do the 100 Day Burpee Challenge to help him get back in shape. Three of us completed our 100th burpee together this past weekend. Read more about this long challenge. 
• This weekend one of my friends mapped out a 5k run on his bike, then paced me as I set a 45 second 5K PR. I would have never been able to do this without him. He pushed me and encouraged me along the way!
• When I organized a team for the Bring Change to Mind walk I had friends from CrossFit walking right beside me, and others who couldn't make it donate money. I definitely have extra motivation during a  workout when I see someone wearing their Team Conneen shirt. 
• One friend of mine is having some health difficulties, and we have all been able to support her. I am so proud of her ability to stay positive. Check out her blog; you will certainly laugh!  
• I email another friend of mine on average at least 6 times a day with questions that are always answered. I have changed my diet and exercise routine so much, and if you know me, you know I am extremely curious. 

These are just a few examples that stuck out in my head. On a daily basis you have people encouraging you to push yourself harder, spending extra time to show you a movement or exercise, and supporting you in your efforts to achieve personal goals. If I have not convinced you to check it out yet- I don't know what will!

Girls compete with each other. Women empower one another.

End the Stigma Workshop

20 Seconds of Insane Courage

On Monday the MHWTC hosted an End the Stigma Workshop. It was an important night of education and inspiration with a goal of raising awareness and reducing the stigma surrounding mental illness.  Club members shared profoundly touching and deeply inspiring personal stories, a panel of experts in the mental health field provided information and answered our questions on mental health issues, and local resources were provided.

My friend Alicia was one of our members who worked very hard to make this night such a success. She is also one of my blogging inspirations. You have to check out her blog- she is a pro! 

I was asked if I would be willing to share my story when we were discussing the topic of suicide. At first I thought no way- I haven't even talked to my closest family members and friends about some of my thoughts and feelings surrounding my dad's death. But then I had a familiar feeling creep up. It was the feeling I had the days and months after my dad's death when I thought about how awful I felt that I did not speak up when I knew he was in a terrible place. Regret is a slippery slope. Most people are quick to say that you should have no regrets in your life. I agree to an extent. Do I know that it was not my fault that my dad committed suicide, and do I know I could not have stopped it? Now- yes I do. However, knowing what I now know, would I have done things differently? Yes. I also want others in a similar situation to know what I would do differently. 

When preparing for the speech I started with my original My Biggest Fan post but since this forum was a perfect opportunity to reach out to others who may be dealing with some of the same issues I added a little bit. Here is an excerpt:

The last time I saw my dad I knew in my heart there was something seriously wrong. When I looked at him, looking at me, there was emptiness in his eyes where there usually was unconditional love. I could see a heavy blanket of despair wrapped around him. I felt helpless. I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything. That is something I regret. I was uncomfortable talking to my dad about depression, anxiety, and his thoughts of suicide. My advice to people in a similar situation is, speak up! Speak up about your feelings, even if it is just to say you are scared. Speak up to medical professionals by asking questions. Then ask more questions. Continue asking questions until you get a clear answer. There are so many people who devote their lives to helping others cope with mental illness. Did you know that the National Suicide Prevention hotline is not just for people in crisis? If you are concerned about a loved one they encourage you to call so that you can find out what resources are available in your area. Your call is routed to the Lifeline center closest to your area. I believe silence helps perpetuate the stigma surrounding mental health and suicide. People do not want to talk about these topics because they are uncomfortable, but we need to. We need to so that we can learn, discover, heal, cope, and survive.

I knew that sharing my story was going to be extremely emotional. However, I was not prepared to be in tears before the speech because of the courageous stories the three women before me shared. I reminded myself of the quote a good friend shared with me earlier in the week. 

"Sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of embarrassing bravery. And I promise you something great will come of it."

After a hug and kiss from my mom, I walked up to the podium in tears already. Honestly, after that it was a total blur. I was able to get through my speech, and look up at so many encouraging faces a couple times. Afterwards, so many people approached me and thanked me for being so brave, and they shared their personal stories with me. I never considered myself brave and felt incredibly honored that others felt comfortable and safe sharing their stories with me. I could not hang around for long because it was such an emotional couple hours. I needed to take a deep breath and have a couple drinks (we are all human right)?! More about "all natural Stoli Doli's" later :)

In summary, it was one of the most important nights of my life. Thank-you to my mom, Milena, Jen, Caroline, and Talia for being there to support me. 

Alicia and Leanne worked so hard to make this night possible!

Two of our very knowledgeable panel members   

You!

We did it!

My Favorite Vegetarians

May 1st I am going to be a Jersey girl again! The past two years I have lived in Philadelphia. Moving to Philadelphia totally pushed me out of my comfort zone. I was definitely trying to "run away" when I moved, but overall, I think it was a great decision. It has been a really amazing experience for me for a lot of reasons. One of the best reasons is that I have met a lot of really awesome new friends. Siobhan (my roommate) and Jim are two of those people that I am lucky to call friends now! They are both teachers, vegetarians, bikers and really FAST runners! (they won't admit that though because they are also very humble) When I moved into the city a healthy dinner for me was a Lean Cuisine and a sugar free pudding for dessert. Siobhan and Jim were always cooking such great recipes. I watched them out of the corner of my eye quite a few nights while I waited for my microwavable meal to finish. A couple times I remember thinking- I could make that! They always let me try their dinners, and I always loved them! Watching them inspired me to start cooking more and trying new recipes. They also introduced me to trail running. Last spring they invited me to sign up for a nighttime 7 mile trail run. I was really uneasy, but signed up anyway. It was really hilly and really hard but I REALLY loved it! When you are running on a trail it is a totally different experience from the road or treadmill. Even though I was breathing very hard, turning my ankles constantly, and my calves were throbbing, I felt more at ease and connected. I was surrounded by trees and it was really quiet. The entire 7 miles I was busy thinking about how lucky I am, how beautiful the scenery was, and how thankful I am for the people in my life. I was on a total running high I know, but I was addicted. This fall we did the same course, and I did much better! I also enjoyed it just as much.

Last week Siobhan and Jim gave me a vegetarian cooking lesson. Here is what we made:

Tempeh-Mushroom Stir-Fry and Soba Noodles

Tempeh is an unprocessed, whole grain product made from fermented soybeans, unlike tofu and other soybean products, which are usually processed.

Serves 2 to 3

16 ounces soba noodles, cooked
1 package tempeh, sliced into thin strips
3 tablespoons low-sodium tamari
Juice of 1/2 lemon
1 tablespoon flour
1 tablespoon of molasses
8 shiitake mushrooms, sliced
8 ounces of white mushrooms
8 ounces of trumpet mushrooms
1 clove garlic, minced
2 tablespoons fresh ginger, minced
1 red bell pepper, seeded and sliced thin
1 cupt cilantro, for garnish

Cook the soba noodles per the directions on the package, drain, and set aside. Thoroughly brown the tempeh strips on medium heat in a sprayed skillet or wok with 1 tablespoon of tamari. Set aside. Mix the remaining tamari, lemon juice, flour, and molasses together in a bowl until the flour is dissolved. Set aside. Heat a large, sprayed skillet or wok. Add the remaining ingredients except for the cilantro in the order listed, stirring for 1 minute after each addition. Remove from heat and add tempeh strips and sauce. Serve stir-fry warm over soba noodles and top with tempeh strips. Garnish with cilantro.

So yummy!

Jim & Siobhan

Goldisweets

Friends are Family

Everyone would probably agree that they have a group of supportive close friends. In the days, months, and years (still hard to type!) since my dad's passing I realized that my group of friends is truly my extended family. I do not know what I would do without them. My friends would tell you that I am not much of a talker. I think that is why blogging is so healing for me. However, they were always there for me. After my dad's death they never asked me what I needed or how I was feeling; they crawled in bed with me, brushed my hair, sent messages on tough days, and most importantly were always by my side without me having to ask them. I want them to know how much I love and appreciate them.

 A benefit held for my dad 

My surprise birthday party

You should also know they are an amazing group of women who inspire me daily. I want to brag about one of them in this post: Katie. One of my best friends Katie has a full time corporate job in New York City. However, one of her true passions is baking. I have clear memories in high school of all her crafting and baking adventures. On black friday, when our group of friends wanted to go shopping for jeans and sweaters, Katie would drag us to AC Moore first to get some baking supplies. Katie has used that passion and crazy talent to start her own business: Goldisweets. You have to check out her website and "like" Goldisweets on Facebook. She made Spiderman cookies for my little brother's birthday and baby shower favors for me, and I will testify that not only do they look amazing they are really delicious. Katie has started the Paleo diet (only a best friend can send you a picture of a chicken enchilada at 7am). I'm thinking her next adventure is gluten free Goldisweets. I would love to be her assistant on this one! Here are just some of her creations:

Check her out for your next celebration! 

http://www.goldisweets.com/